Here, at last, is the first trailer for Dan Gilroy's Velvet Buzzsaw, a film we've been dying to learn more about ever since it was announced all the way back in (checks notes) June of 2017. This is the project that reunites the team behind Nightcrawler, including Gilroy (who wrote and directed), Rene Russo (who co-stars) and Jake Gyllenhaal (your headliner).
It looks absolutely bananas.
Hahaha, that one takes a turn, doesn't it?
We've known for a while now that Velvet Buzzsaw would be a "horror/thriller", but we weren't expecting this. What initially seems to be another one of those "Hoity-toity folks doing crimes in order to climb their way to the top" movies quickly gives way to whatever this is, which appears to be a movie about a dead man's paintings coming to life and murdering said hoity-toity people.
There's a robot man, monkeys pulling a dude through a bathroom mirror (we hate it when that happens), Toni Collette getting her arm ripped off, and John Malkovich wearing a truly courageous amount of denim. This is everything we could have dared to dream of and more, and we cannot wait.
Here's an official plot synopsis, as if such a thing is even necessary at a time like this:
"Velvet Buzzsaw is a thriller set in the contemporary art world scene of Los Angeles where big money artists and mega-collectors pay a high price when art collides with commerce. Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo, Toni Collette, Zawe Ashton, Tom Sturridge, Natalia Dyer, Daveed Diggs, Billy Magnussen, and John Malkovich star in the new mind-bending film written and directed by Dan Gilroy."
We could not be more excited about this one, and can't wait to see it when it hits Netflix on February 1st. How 'bout you folks? Sound off in the comments below, and watch out for those bathroom mirrors. You never know where cursed, painted monkeys may be hiding.