Does anybody remember Courtney Solomon's Dungeons & Dragons? It's OK if you don't - because who would ever want to - but it's a solid reminder that Jeremy Irons was once the shit during the '80s and '90s (only to disintegrate thereafter), and we once as a society thought Thora Birch and Marlon Wayans could be people we actually cared about. *Reads IMDb Credits* Who the fuck is Bruce Payne again?
Yet Hollywood is never one to learn from its mistakes: there's a new D&D movie in development, and The LEGO Batman Movie's Chris McKay might be the guy behind the camera for it. McKay also has Warner Bros' Nightwing adaptation coming up, proving that he has very few standards when it comes to accepting a paycheck.
In fairness, I'd love to see a modern D&D movie done right. Not because I'm some tabletop/roleplaying nerd, but mostly because I miss movies like The Beastmaster, where muscled swordsmen communicated with animals, and women only wore bikinis. Give me all my movies with a side of baby oil, please and thank you.
Paramount is apparently eyeing a Summer 2021 release date, which still sounds like some post-apocalyptic Hellscape whenever I write it out onto (digital) paper. If they need any pointers, they can call me and I'll lend them my copy of Albert Pyun's The Sword and the Sorcerer. You're all welcome.